"It's your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!" |
Smurf means whatever you want it to mean. |
"It was a dark and stormy night..." |
Watching the giant floats get inflated in preparation for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the evening prior to Thanksgiving, has been a NYC tradition since 1927. The energizer bunny and Ronald McDonald have absolutely nothing to do with Thanksgiving of course. Have parades always been comprised of corporate propaganda and attempts to further instill consumerism into our minds? Ugh. It's depressing. I go to a lot of parades, but I'm not sure why because I think I might really hate them. And Spidey, well, he looks cool being held down by nets and sandbags amidst the trees, but he doesn't inspire a sense of gratitude in me.
And smurfs just creep me out. I think it's because when I was a little girl growing up in Houston, there were stories about an evil gang called The Smurfs that were supposedly killing people all over the city. Everyone at Andy Anderson Elementary school was terrified, including myself. It was not until twenty years later that I discovered, through the magic of the internet, that the stories were grand embellishments, based on a much less exciting story of a few kids getting arrested for stealing. The tale had grown larger and larger as it was passed around. I was blown away to learn that these stories made it to elementary and middle schools all over Houston, and that the hysteria reached such epic proportions that Newsweek published an article about it all. I know this sounds hilarious now, but when you're seven years old, nothing is far from being possible. And it was Houston, after all. It was so strange to read so many other people's memories of this online, so many of them recounting my exact memories. Though I remembered it clearly, and had thought about it over the years (always triggered by the appearance of the blue cartoon characters) I never, for some strange reason, imagined anyone else would remember it. But it sounded like some people were downright traumatized about it all- that's what a big deal it was.
And smurfs just creep me out. I think it's because when I was a little girl growing up in Houston, there were stories about an evil gang called The Smurfs that were supposedly killing people all over the city. Everyone at Andy Anderson Elementary school was terrified, including myself. It was not until twenty years later that I discovered, through the magic of the internet, that the stories were grand embellishments, based on a much less exciting story of a few kids getting arrested for stealing. The tale had grown larger and larger as it was passed around. I was blown away to learn that these stories made it to elementary and middle schools all over Houston, and that the hysteria reached such epic proportions that Newsweek published an article about it all. I know this sounds hilarious now, but when you're seven years old, nothing is far from being possible. And it was Houston, after all. It was so strange to read so many other people's memories of this online, so many of them recounting my exact memories. Though I remembered it clearly, and had thought about it over the years (always triggered by the appearance of the blue cartoon characters) I never, for some strange reason, imagined anyone else would remember it. But it sounded like some people were downright traumatized about it all- that's what a big deal it was.
I actually have an awesome idea for a badass Thanksgiving parade that would play out like a story, an allegorical tale if you will. It would be much more theatrical and avante-garde, and it would definitely be more relevant, historically speaking. I think the traditional corporate floats would even make an appearance towards the end of my story. I would need a sizable budget. But I actually have that worked out. Seriously. And I would demand that the streets be lined with stadium seating so that people could view my production in a manner befitting it, obviously. That might be more difficult to pull off.
Snoopy is the only character here that has any relation to the holiday as the Peanuts' Thanksgiving specials are beloved by everyone.
I've got the moves like Linus. I've got the moves like Linus. I've got the moooooooves like Linus. Which peanut's dance moves most closely resembles your own?
"Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't
have to take out their garbage for a long time." --Arlo Guthrie, Alice's Restaurant
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