Say What?...

There is no privacy in NYC. Wherever you go, there are eight million other people on top of you. Most people can't even escape to their homes to decompress, as it is evidently customary, to cram as many people as possible into a NYC shoebox. I still don't know how I managed to score a spacious pad and a cool roomie, but I am grateful every day that I have my own personal space, my cave, my safe haven from the world.

One downside to city life being so public is having to witness the abhorrent way many people speak to their children. Adults seem to have no qualms about cruelly berating their kids in public, calling them names, and cursing at them.  I find it really hard to bear. Often I catch the children's eyes as I'm passing, and they all always have the same look of shame. My stomach churns with discomfort and my heart grows heavy. I try to offer a smile, a non-verbal expression of sympathy, and a telepathic message of reassurance that it won't always be this way. But can they really read that in my eyes? Maybe they can actually see that I doubt my own words. I want to stand up for them. But you're not supposed to tell other people how to parent, right? It's so strange that our culture finds such a thing taboo, while so many other cultures are built on the 'it takes a village' philosophy. I could call the police if there was physical abuse, but no one cares about verbal or emotional abuse, which is just as detrimental. I always find myself wondering if these kids have anyone on their side. I wonder who they'll grow up to be. I wonder if they have a chance to transform themselves into healthy adults, or if the insidious words will continue to seep through, forming their impressionable psyches, and propelling them to continue the cycle of violent communication.

I am not going to end on that note. As an eternal optimist wannabe, and as an admirer of the Emerson "Evermore, the world is a marvelous balance of beauty and disgust, magnificence and rats" school of poetic logic, I also have a bright side to offer. 

The upside to the lack of privacy, and one of my favorite aspects of living in NYC, is constantly hearing snippets of conversation while you're out and about. They come on the subway, or in shops and restaurants, or at the park, but most often they come while simply walking down the street. Bits and pieces of conversation, that are of course completely out of context, fly into your ear, often to much hilarity. So, I've decided that these snippets need to be recorded for posterity. I will continue to chronicle the flying phrases and to build the catalogue, and in time, I will have a large compilation of these gems. I think it would make an excellent book. By the end of the day, after walking around the city, my senses are generally overblown; Everything melds together and I tend to forget these merry morsels after the fact, but I'm going to make more of an effort to type them into the notepad on my phone while still fresh.

So, without further adieu, here is Volume I of the Say What? series:

I'm walking west on 14th St. in Greenwich Village, as a young man and woman (appearing to be a couple) walk east towards me. At the precise moment of our intersection, I hear the girl say to the guy in a serious and agitated manner:

"But... remember your fecal matter story?"

Bada bing! I don't know if the humor translates to blog format, but when you're walking and hear random flybys such as the one above, it slays. Stay tuned for the next installment of Say What?!...

Maybe I should have titled the series 'Flying Phrases' instead. Or 'Flybys.' What do you think? Do you prefer either of those to 'Say What?' Or do you have an even better title suggestion?

How awesome is it that Kurt Cobain formed a band called Fecal Matter before he started Nirvana? Smells Like Teen Spirit is unarguably the defining song of my generation. But where would we be if the name stuck and Fecal Matter produced Bleach and Nevermind? There were Fecal Matter songs on Bleach, so it's not too far-fetched a subject in which to hypothesize. Assuming the record label would have allowed the name, Novoselic could have gone with it when he joined up with Cobain. And Grohl didn't have too much pull when he first entered the picture. When Shakespeare wrote that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, he obviously could not foresee that bands would choose to associate their music with excrement. Just as Romeo had the hots for Juliet in spite of her being a Capulet, we surely would have been enthralled with Smells Like Teen Spirit under a less desirable band moniker. But as any Freakonomics book will tell you, there is a lot in a name. And the question is, would we even have heard the song if it had been recorded under the name Fecal Matter? Would we have seen that iconic video on MTV, anarchist cheerleaders, angsty youth moshing out their frustrations? Fecal Matter was a punk band, and their tunes would never have been MTV or radio friendly. That Nirvana's grunge even became mainstream was a surprise. I just don't see a band with the name Fecal Matter being the defining band of a generation. I'm glad Cobain decided he wanted a name that was "kind of beautiful or nice and pretty instead of a mean, raunchy punk rock name like the Angry Samoans." I do think the band name is partially responsible for their level of success. Nirvana means an enlightened state of being, of supreme happiness, the extinction of desire, suffering, and individual consciousness. It's ironic the path to success began by being defined as such and then ended in misery and tragedy. Although I suppose you reach nirvana in death so perhaps it's quite fitting. It's only normal to wonder if Cobain would still be alive had he not reached such an intense level of fame. Not that it was his own doing. There is still fair speculation that he was murdered, and there is enough evidence surrounding the case to suggest it is a valid theory. In which case, the question becomes- Would he still be alive if he had been comfortable with the intense level of fame he achieved, and if he wasn't planning on quitting the music industry and leaving Courtney Love in search of a more authentic life? We may never know the truth. But I will never forget being sixteen years old, sitting in the living room after school watching MTV, seeing a 'special report' title card suddenly flash across the screen, and watching Kurt Loder deliver the news of Cobain's death. It's hard to believe the video is 21 years old this year:

What are some awesome bands that have terrible names?

"We are living in a time of change/ Too many things you feel afraid/ Do things against the will of God/ Maybe someday soon they'll realize they're wrong" --Fecal Matter, Laminated Effect